Hi meaningful leader,
Happy Tuesday! I’ve been looking forward to our weekly meet up…
For this week, I would like to share with you some thoughts about why leaders should be more kind than nice…
Are you game? Cool!
As leaders we want to build the most positive environment possible for our team and ensure they feel safe, respected and motivated. Yet, in the process of creating this psychological safe environment for their teams, some leaders fall into the “nice” trap.
One of the most counterproductive approaches a leader can choose to take is holding back on timely, developmentally critical feedback, in lieu of being a nice boss and not wanting to create an uncomfortable situation for someone within the team.
These leaders justify their approach as politeness, yet having the hard, uncomfortable conversations is the kindness and most courageous thing leaders can do for their teams.
As leaders, we are not called to be nice, we are called to be kind, honest and courageous. We are also called to have the hard conversation, and doing so by applying that honesty kindness and courage. That is exactly what the members of our team need and expect from us. This is where their growth happens.
Giving negative feedback or correcting someone’s behavior or performance is not a pleasant task, but doing so in a way that edifies and support the growth of the person receiving it, can become an invaluable milestone in that person’s journey. Leadership demands that we become comfortable in the uncomfortable, because as I always say, their is no growth without the growing pains.
Holding in valuable feedback for the fear of offending someone is cowardice. Throughout my career Ive met many so-called leaders that avoid correcting and giving negative feedback, yet penalize employees’ performance who in some instances are clueless about the problem. Furthermore, these leaders expect HR to deal with the issue and pass it along like a hot potato.
But as I wrote last week, leading people requires our investments. Nothing grows without care. Providing feedback in a clear and concise way, using specific examples and staying on topic, is the best way to approach these difficult conversations. On the other hand, lack of clarity or a delayed message, not only reflects poorly on the leader, but also increases the discomfort and anxiety for the recepient. The latter is completely unkind.
One last thing about feedback that I want to share with you before we part ways for the week…same as giving negative feedback and correcting people is necessary, constantly highlighting the positive accomplishments each on of the members of the team achieves, builds up people and motivates them to excel. You don’t want to be known as the leader that when calls someone to their office, people expect the worse. Build a relationship with your people and develop the trust in which correction and negative feedback can become a positive thing, not the only thing.
And as statement # 5 of The Team-Building Manifesto from my book states:
“Praise in public and discipline in private, you can literally make or break a team with this one!”
I hope you found value here today. If so, please share with one person, like and comment. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog and receive this article every Tuesday directly in your inbox…I don’t spam
Have an amazing rest the week, lead courageously and God bless,
Maria
PS: Check more on this topic on today’s video
3 Comments
Reading your article helped me a lot and I agree with you. But I still have some doubts, can you clarify for me? I’ll keep an eye out for your answers.
Thank you so much for your feedback, what can I help clarify? Are there any topics within the article that you’d like me to elaborate more on?
Reading your article has greatly helped me, and I agree with you. But I still have some questions. Can you help me? I will pay attention to your answer. thank you.